In class, Dr. Glassman faced us with a very tough question that arises in the seemingly endless bullying cycle. In the midst of all the campaigns to stop bullying, we have children who are being hurt, so how do we actually deal with a bully? This includes being the victim and being the parents of the victim.
We all know how tough this situation is, especially since it can be so hard to deal with a loved one who is being bullied. Like we discussed in class, the first thing we want to do is to beat the snot out of the bully, which is very irrational. And as we have heard before so many times, although it is a natural reaction, it is not the reaction that will give us the most beneficial results. It will only "fuel the fire" so to speak, leaving both parties guilty of hurtful actions and where both the victim and the bully are seen as equal, which is not why you would have acted in the first place.
From personal experience and from observing others, I can attest to the fact that bullying comes from some kind of personal problem or self esteem issue. Most "bullies" or even plain mean people do what they do because they have some kind of issue. Even if they are doing it just for kicks, that definitely hints at something wrong with their behavior/attitudes. They need some kind of release for their personal issue, and as we know from modern psychology, projection (taking inner conflict and taking it out on someone else) is a common issue that is used when dealing with problems within ourselves.
Therefore, the best thing to do with a child/family who has to deal with bullying is just to stick it out. As parents, be supportive. Although we did talk about how this is not always possible, it is important. It is important to make home feel like a place where the child can talk about what is going on, vent their feelings and emotions, and receive love and support and positive encouragement. Home or being with family is an important safety net for a child who feels as though they are being bullied. As a child, the most important thing to do is what we have been told from the beginning: ignore it. Bullying is a problem with self-esteem for the bully; they are trying to project their inner feelings onto others. The best way to stop it? Don't let that happen. The best thing for a victim to do is to keep confident and make it seem as though the bullies efforts are a waste of time and they are not making you feel any different about yourself. From what I have noticed, this usually ends the bully's ways and can in truth reveal their behavior to others.
Here are some further tips on ways to keep your self image positive and how to ignore bullies:
http://kidshealth.org/kid/feeling/emotion/bullies.html#
Amanda I understand what you are saying but I think it is really hard for a child to just stick it out and hopefully eventually the bully will stop teasing. As a child though that is 9 or so years old that would be so hard for them to understand I think just waiting out and taking the bullying. As a parent it can be even harder if you have called the school and nothing is being done. You don't want your child to suffer but you aren't at school to stop it and you can only tell the school so much and if they say they are doing something but aren't it can be frustrating
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